Witness to a Piece of Peace

I am an Oprah fan from way back. I have watched her show and I have evolved and grown as a human being as I have watched Oprah's hairstyles change, her dress sizes change, and her heart change. Last week I watched Oprah's recent two part interview with James Frey, the author of "A Million Little Pieces". For context, this was a new interview five years after the famous public shaming interview of James Frey by Oprah. I felt Oprah went over the top that day so long ago. James Frey experienced a public humiliation. No matter where you fall on the topic of James Frey and his lack of honesty to whatever degrees in his memoir, it was shocking to see Oprah hold his feet to the fire. It was not Oprah's finest hour.

This is a woman who has raised the consciousness level of television. She and her team are all about redemption, compassion, evolution, responsibility and love. So to witness Oprah tear James Frey limb from limb five years ago, it was like watching a public stoning; horrifying, devastating, deeply disturbing. Here was a model of human evolution in action, acting from such a base place.

Oprah, your human was showing. Really! That was what I felt. For both James and Oprah, I saw two great teachers acting out their lessons in front of the world, and I felt profound compassion for them both, and deep gratitude. Compassion for their pain and wounds, for their inability to see the situation they were in for the great lesson plan it was. Gratitude that they were willing to display this for all the world to see, and possibly to learn from. Selfishly grateful also that it was not my life on exhibit. Heaven knows I am human as well and have made my fair share of horrifying mistakes, which thankfully have not been aired, dissected or debated on national tv.

So after last week, I bestow upon Oprah and James the Noble Prize (yes I am aware I have changed Nobel to Noble...as I am not actually qualified to bestow a Nobel Prize, as yet) for Generosity of Self, in the area of Displaying Personal Growth. On the second of the two interviews last week, Oprah apologized to James, taking full responsibility for acting from her ego in her interview from five years ago. Well, I have to tell you, I was so touched and impressed. It felt as though there was redemption for all! I was so impressed by the way they both conducted themselves. It was triumphant!

Okay, so it isn't peace in the Middle East, but it is peace in the heart of these two people, and millions of us got to bear witness and had the opportunity to take a piece of piece in our hearts as well. To witness healing, transformation, personal evolution, responsibility in action, compassion, forgiveness and love is healing for us all. After seeing such a different display with the same players five years later, all I can say is, Bravo! Well done! James was contrite in the first interview, in this second one he was taking responsibility with clarity and conviction. What a beautiful example to the world. Oh, and Oprah, you get a standing O-vation from me! Awe-some! A sight to behold. Thank you for showing us the glory of humanity at her finest. I am so touched.

No matter if you like Oprah or not, and as I have said I do! She has been a fixture of our culture. She has been a great teacher. Sometimes our teachers help us to see a better way to be, sometimes they show us by example what not to do. It seems particularly precious to see the arc of evolution on one incident. To see someone make a mistake, to become aware of the error, to do the work to evolve and heal enough to take responsibility and make amends. That is grace-full. That is how it is done. My hat is off to both Oprah and James Frey.


We are all human. We all have lessons and opportunities for healing, growth, responsibility, compassion and love. We can all have peace in our hearts. The more peace we have, the further we get out of our own way, the greater the love and compassion we carry and share. It is just that simple, it is just that hard.

Now is The Time

Now is the time.

It is time to reach out and share the love. It is important to be spreading the love to those who are in our lives; to take the time to see and be seen, to strengthen those connections in love, to express our love and appreciation for one another.

It is time to spread our connections out. Stretch a bit, make new circles of friends. The further we extend the network of loving relationships, the more benefit to all.

It is a good time as always to be fine tuning our lives. To pay attention to how you are spending your available time, attention and energy. Do you have some clearing to do? Removing activities, clutter, or unhealthy relationships frees up time for you to devote to what is really important. Are you doing what you LOVE? Are you spending time with people you Love? How is your energy bank account? Do you have a balance in your account, or are you overdrawn? Are you taking care of yourself?

These are all important. Making sure you have time to yourself, to devote to your path and purpose and to be with loved ones.

This week pick one thing to focus upon in your life; sharing your love, widening your circle, fine tuning your life, take care of yourself, follow your passion. It is worth it.

What are you waiting for? The time is now.

Mother's Day Reflections

Today, I honor my Mother. She is a wonderful woman, who has carried our lineage into this era well. She has redefined the role of Mother in such a radical way. It must have been challenging for her to parent in such a different way than her Mother did and her sister chose. My Mother made an evolutionary sharp right turn, if you will, assisting our family of origin into more evolved and healthy realms, as had not been seen in her lifetime certainly in her direct lineage. Where did she learn this? How was she even motivated to change the model? Her own suffering from her family of origin was the inspiration, that and her drive to improve. We are blessed by her choices and we all benefit from them. Thank you Mom. I would not be who I am without you, and the many blessings of my family of origin.

I would not be who I am today without the love of the amazing man I married. Karl takes every opportunity to honor me as his wife and the mother of our children. It makes life joyful! Even mundane tasks become heart centered, when you are doing them for someone who loves you, flirts with you, and honors you every day (even after twenty three plus years). The most extravagant gift my husband ever gave me (my current wedding ring) he gave me for Mother's Day years ago. He said Mother's Day was the perfect day to give this to me, since being parents together has taken our love and our life to levels he never dreamed possible. He doesn't ever need to get me another gift for Mother's Day. That day was so deeply touching, the effects will last a lifetime. Indeed financially we are being more careful these days, as so many are. I got two cards with beautiful sentiments from Karl, which filled my heart more than any gift ever could.

I would not be the mother I am today without the two amazing children we have together. They are now adults, and we couldn't be more proud, impressed, amazed and in awe of who they are and how they navigate in this world. They both make excellent real world decisions on a regular basis. They have excelled at whatever they put their hearts and minds to. They are kind, compassionate and loving people.

I look at our children, and that is the greatest Mother's Day gift of all. I have had the honor of watching them grow into the adults they are today. As I sit here tonight everyone has gone to bed, the house is quiet and I am reflecting upon the day. It has been a beautiful day! I could not feel more full in my heart of love and gratitude for all the loving, wonderful people we are blessed to have in our lives.

Thank you to all the family members who make our lives so rich, and thank you to our extended family of friends. In our family, we all share one gift, the ability to attract and retain amazing friends. As I look out over the landscape of our lives, as a day like today prompts me to do, I am honored and blessed by all the loving relationships in our lives. So thank you, if you read this, I count you as friend or family as well. The tapestry of our lives is woven richly with color and texture from the variety of friends and family who grace our lives.

Go forth, and give your loved ones a hug which lasts a bit longer today, a look which lingers. Tell them how much you appreciate them: be specific, be generous. These are the things which matter most in our lives. The relationships which nourish and sustain us, they make us complete.

Navigating in a Sea of Energy

We live in a sea of energy. We know how to navigate through it much of the time. Recently many of us have found ourselves removed from our ironclad massive battleships, and are now navigating the sea of energy in a little inflatable life raft. All the better to detect the subtleties of the sea of energy, which is a good thing, but we are feeling much more vulnerable. Vulnerable is good, vulnerability is how we move towards healing and wholeness, as long as we are taking care of ourselves and we stay in balance. How do we do that? We listen to our emotional body. We are all getting information all the time. One of the strongest ways is through our emotional body. Many people go their whole lives thinking they are not privy to such information or intuition when in fact we all are, all the time.

Many of us have been feeling like we have slid backwards in our ability to navigate the sea of energy with information from our emotional body. In fact we have not. Rather it is the shift from battleship to lifeboat, which is giving us the impression that we may have lost ground. Are you feeling that some of your emotional reactions are amplified right now? This is what I am talking about. Out of the destroyer, into the life raft.

I have an example of this from my life recently. I have a dear friend who I had not seen for awhile. She was quite busy, I sent her a message to get together. I didn't hear back from her for several weeks on that point. I did hear from her, she never mentioned getting together, or that she got my message. This really got my attention. Much more than it might have in recent past. My emotional body got my attention and it said "ouch". Not long ago I would have pushed myself towards my friend in this situation. I would have extended myself, my instinct was to overdo in such circumstances, which actually would create imbalance. I would have been seeking my friends affirmation of our friendship. I know this friend would not want to hurt my feelings at all. I did not need to assert myself upon her to find out if we were okay, I know we are okay. So with that information, in the instant I recognized "hurt" feelings, I lovingly pulled my energy back. I prayed for her, and did not contact her. This immediately felt good. No "hurt" feelings, just love and compassion for her and peace for me. I waited for her to contact me. Several weeks later she contacted me, ready to get together whenever we could. How did I feel then? Joy, love, peace, friendship, communion, balance. That said, several years ago that same scenario would have prompted several sleepless nights with me trying to determine what I had done wrong and how I could improve and be a better friend. That was back when the seas were stormy much of the time. Something minor like this getting any of my attention is part of why I said it feels like we have backslid some, my energetic body is far more sensitive at this time, through the little life raft I can feel minor fluctuations, which were imperceptable a few months ago. All the better for me to fine tune my actions and maintain calm seas.

This is just one example of following the information we get from our emotional body. It is simple right? Of course it is, so why don't we all do this all the time? Because most of us have too much going at all times. Trying to navigate when our emotional bodies are over taxed is like being in a stormy sea. There is too much going on just to stay afloat, the sea is whirling and swirling around us. By paring down those things which draw our energy and which no longer serve us, we free up more of the ability to interpret this information, calming the sea if you will.

It is easy to get the signals which do not feel good. Those come through loud and clear. It is more of a talent to recognize the subtle feelings associated with energy moving in right relation and how to paddle in that direction. The more you do it, the easier it is to do. The gentle vibrations which come from being in harmony can be an adjustment when we have been navigating in a tumultuous sea of energy. It is our responsibility to do our best to maintain calm center. This is just one example of doing so. How are you doing navigating in the sea of energy? Does it feel like the sea is calm and gentle, or like there is a perfect storm brewing around you? Storms come and go, we do not need to live in the storm. These are all clues for all of us, and learning how to read the energy sea is just one way to return to calm center where peace and love abound. Don't get discouraged if you have found yourself feeling like you may have slid backwards, you are actually moving forward much more effectively for the purposes of healing and integration.

May you have a wonderful week. Thank you for taking the time to stop by and visit. We are doing this refining and fine tuning together, moving towards healing and wholeness. We are here to help one another. One more reason we are all in these life rafts now too, the better to see and assist one another! Hey there! I can wave to you from here! Love and Blessings to you and yours.

A Toast to Love

We are heading towards an empty nest at a tremendous speed. We are blessed by our two children embarking on the next phase of their lives. They are learning to fly free. It is fledging time. Karl and I find ourselves wondering what these coming years will be like. We are renewing our relationship, reconnecting with one another, looking forward, with love.

We had the privilege of spending some special time with my parents this past weekend. At dinner there was a singer singing oldies from the 50's. As the evening progressed my parents became more gentle with one another, more affectionate, leaning into one another and communicating in the longstanding silent language of their love. They have been married nearly 60 years. They met and married as teenagers. Their love affair has been the backdrop to my life. It has always been there: consistent, reassuring, enduring.

My husband's father and his wife have had a great love affair, even though it has been just over 10 years that they have been married, their love is deep and true. It doesn't matter when you find love, it matters that you live a life in love. No matter what that looks like.

As Karl and I wonder what the future will hold for us, one thing we plan to nurture is love: love for one another, love for our children and those they love, love for our families and love for our friends. We are better for loving and being loved. Love is our most precious commodity. Don't store it up, spread it around, that is how love grows. Do your part, love one another, make the world a better place.

Dance in your Passion, Play in your Joy

Steve Rother once said that, "Dance in your passion and play in your joy". I didn't much understand it then. It was maybe 15 years ago that I first heard that. Of course I could intellectually wrap my head around that, but I didn't know yet for sure what my passion and joy were. I have dabbled. I write, I draw, I cook, I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, I do healing work, I am a Spiritual Facilitator, I have danced in many passions.

I have been dancing and playing a lot lately. I think I finally understand a bit what this means. It seems the more I dance in my passion and play in my joy, the more miracles unfold before me. The more miracles unfold, the more I dance and play, the more passion, love and joy. It is that simple.

I have been dancing with a new healing modality. I am standing in awe and gratitude for so much right now: for this life each and every day, for the blessing of ushering in this work and all the miracles upon miracles surrounding that (Pinch me!), for the gift of getting to dance in my Path and Purpose, right here right now, for the type of work which I bear witness to, for the amazing people in my life who love and support me, and I love and support, as well as those who have been willing to play in the Light with me, who trust me so much they are willing to go into heretofore unchartered waters. You are brave, brave, loving souls and I thank you! As this work unfolds and each session is unique and beautiful, just as each person is, I am in AWE of the amazing people I am blessed to know. I am deeply touched as I bear witness to each individual person on their own personal and sacred journey towards health, healing, wholeness and well-being.

In the coming weeks I will have a new website up and running from which I will be spreading the word about this work in more detail. Some of the wonderful people who have raised their hands and volunteered to do this work will be sharing their experiences. I am feeling full right now, full of gratitude, full of passion, love and joy, full of blessings and ready to share. I will keep you posted.

No matter what your passion is, take the time each and every day to dance a little in that passion, play in your joy and make the world a better place, moment by moment.

Sending you all gratitude and love for sharing this journey with me. For being a part of my path in your own particular way. Thank you for sharing yourselves with me. My life is so much richer for it. Thank you.

I Stand in Gratitude

My son came home to visit for a few days this week. It was so good to see him and have everyone under one roof again. I am acutely aware that these times are precious and few, having everyone together. Even as I hold that thought I am in awe of our children. I stand in gratitude.

This week our daughter has heard from several universities which she applied to, and has gotten into each one she has applied to so far. She has done her part of the job: good grades, internships, community service hours, college classes, all that and she is a loving, sensitive, kind person too. I am so impressed and touched by the woman she is becoming. I couldn't ask for more. I stand in gratitude.

As our son came home his priorities for the few days he was home were: laundry (of course), seeing family, and to do healing work with me. There are not words for how honored I am to have my 20 year old son asking to do healing work with me. This further reminded me of the generous heart, thoughtful, considerate young man we have raised. He is doing well in school, in a loving relationship with a wonderful young woman, I couldn't ask for more. I stand in gratitude.

We had a friend embezzle a large sum of money from us. A la Bernis Madoff. He is in jail, we are learning how to forgive. We thought our children's college would be paid for by those funds, instead we have student loans. We have made some very dear friends who have gone through this same loss, we are blessed beyond measure for their presence in our lives. I can't put a price on that. I stand in gratitude.

Our income has been cut in more than half over the past few years, our expenses have increased. Our savings has been nearly depleted. We have weathered most of this storm with great success due to my husband's excellent financial planning. We have a long way to go before we are done climbing out of this financial debacle, but the process has begun, and we have more than survived these challenges. I stand in gratitude.

When times are challenging, as they are for so many on many fronts, it does not serve me to focus on the stresses and frustrations, instead I focus on the gifts and blessings. That does not mean I close my eyes and ears to the problems. I pray first, asking for help and then take action, calmly, smoothly, moving forward, towards healing and wholeness. I celebrate the gifts of our loved ones ~ friends and family. Each morning when I wake up I am thankful for another day, full of possibilities. As I move about my day I am playing more music, singing and dancing in the house and car (I can hear, I can dance, I can play music, I have a car, I have a house, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude). I find joy in my every day tasks. At the end of the day I am grateful for another day, and I count my blessings, literally, until I fall asleep. I stand in gratitude.

Today is the Vernal Equinox. Halfway between the shortest day of the year and the longest day of the year. The start of Spring! The time of renewal, rebirth and new beginnings! Joy, joy, joy! Each day is a love song to The Divine, make yours a good one, I plan to. I stand in gratitude!

Highs and Lows

This week there have been high highs and low lows.

The lows have been all over the news and web. The devastation in Japan. Watching helplessly from thousands of miles away while fellow humans face the most earth shattering experience of their lives.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you Japan. We are all brothers and sisters in this human experience. Our hearts are with you. I cannot imagine what you are going through, few can, but I bear witness. I stand in love and compassion and send prayers for calmness, peace, love and grace.

On a personal note, I was blessed today to get to visit a dear friend in a hospital in Tijuana. She went there for treatment in the final stages of cancer. I was going down to say goodbye to a beautiful spirit. I didn't know what to expect, or what I could do, but I did know I could show up and be present in love.

My thoughts and prayers are with you Dee. We are all brothers and sisters in this human experience. My heart is with you. I cannot imagine what you are going through, few can, but I bear witness. I stand in love and compassion and send prayers for calmness, peace, love and grace.

As I turned the corner into Dee's room what I saw took my breath away. There sitting cross-legged on the bed was Dee, with bright sparkly eyes, shining face, and wide open smile! Her arms flew open and we hugged. She is radiant in good health and well being! Woohoo! She has turned a corner and it is clear she is going to be here for awhile!

Dee has gone through her own earth shattering, life altering experiences. She has survived the ravages of cancer and chemotherapy, then taken an inventory and dug deep, bravely surviving her own tsunami of emotions, and bid The Angel of Death adieu for now. Her transformation has been tremendous. She is ready to move forward and embrace her life. There is some rebuilding to be done, just as in Japan. After devastation that is to be expected. I am honored to show up and bear witness, in love. Blessings ahead.

We never know what is coming. We are blessed by this day. I am filled up with love and gratitude for Dee's healing; for the reminder that we are all interconnected and can send waves of love and compassion across the ocean to Japan and a few miles away to a friend or family member in need; for the blessing of waking up each morning and getting another opportunity to be An Agent for The Divine.

This is precious. It is easy to lose sight of the simple blessings. Breathe in. Feel your heart, breathe out, love. Peace. Amen.

Look Out World, Here We Come!

Much is up, up, up! All around me, and even in my own life there are some areas which are up, up, up! You might ask, why is this happening? Because we are moving through change, then just a second, here's another area ready for, you guessed it, change. Oh yeah, and just a second, here's another heaping helping of, um...yeah, CHANGE! Some of us have become accustomed to change, we have adapted to it, we have even (if I do say so myself) gotten good at moving through change! Ha! That's what you think! Relax, and allow yourself to be carried downriver by the flow, if it feels challenging, well then that is how you know you are not in the flow. It is exhausting to try to paddle upriver. These effects are being amplified right now. Why is that you ask? Well they are being amplified to assist us. To actually make it easier for us to see which way we are going, upstream (fighting all the way, and before you know it you will be at a waterfall, which is impossible to paddle up, no matter how good you are at paddling) or downstream, in the flow, relaxing, blissful even. This is where the peace and joy reside!

For some time now I have been feeling like the time is coming when things are really going to take off. Tic toc. Look at the clock. Well now, we have begun to hear the first chime ringing as both hands are now on the 12. I am reminded of Cinderella running down the steps and dropping her shoe to hurry home as the first bells begin to ring. We are not running away from anything, in this case, rather we are being reminded to drop everything and begin running towards Home. We are heading towards being the best expression of ourselves, authentically, here and now. We are doing this, in the flow, instead of the frantic panicked feeling Cinderella must have felt, we are running towards our destiny, with love and peace, ease and grace and joy and gratitude! Woo hoo! This is a time to celebrate being alive! To be grateful for all the many blessings in our lives! To truly enjoy our friends and family, all those near and dear to our hearts! To love being alive! This is in the flow! These are our reminders for how to move through these times. So rather than up, up, upstream I am focusing my attention right now upon being in the flow, tucking in my arms and legs, lay down in the canoe, relaxing into trust and let the current take me along. Look Out World Here We Come!

Let's Get Together

Last night we went to a dinner party. It has been years since we have been to or hosted a dinner party. It was a wonderful group of dear old friends. Let me clarify. Three couples there have been friends for decades. We are newer friends. That is, our husbands are all good friends, and have been for some time but this was my first time to get together with everyone. Let me tell you, I was welcomed in like I had been there all along. It was so sweet to get to spend the evening in the company of a group that fits like an old glove, and to have them include you so seamlessly that you forget you are the newbie. That is love and grace in action. So thank you to these dear new friends that already feel "old" to me.

As we were all around the table enjoying the good food, glowing candlelight, and basking in the warmth of dear friends, I found myself reflecting upon just how blessed I am. There I was at a table with these wonderful, loving, kind and authentic people. I couldn't help but think of how many amazing people we have in our lives, and just how seldom we all get our act together enough to come together. There is that word again, together. It keeps coming up!

So I want to take this moment to thank you all, dear family and friends old and new, near and far. For all the times we have shared in laughter, in counsel, in joy and in tears. This is what it is all about. To love and be loved. To share life together. Our lives are a rich tapestry of these events woven together. So let's break bread together. Let's make it a regular thing. These special moments are just all together too few, and I for one am going to attempt to up the average! Come on over, or give me a call and let's get...together, yeah yeah yeah!

Here We Go Again

We just got back from Pismo Beach. The Central Coast of California is so beautiful, the rolling hills, the beautiful beaches, there is a lot to like about it. If you haven't been to this region, it is definitely worth seeing. Krista and I went up the coast for her to see Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, on our way home we looked at UC Santa Barbara. This is part of the process. The letting go process. Ironically, Father of The Bride was on tv last night as I began this posting. It is such a sweet movie. As Steve Martin goes through the process of acknowledging his little girl is all grown up, I can't help but chuckle inside about the similarities in my own life, and getting ready to send our youngest off to school. Synchronisitic.

I am reminded of getting to meet my husband's Italian cousins a few years ago, when they came to town on vacation. Ry was 17 and a year from heading off to school. Karl's cousin was so excited to share with his wife that we would be sending our son off at 18. His wife was horrified. She said, "He is just a baby! How will you do this?"

At the time I smiled and said, "This is pretty normal here. It is how we do it."

She replied, "Our son will not leave the house until he marries in his late 20's, maybe even into his 30's! I can't imagine letting him go any sooner."

Flash to a year later, (how does time pass so quickly?) as my own son went off to college, I couldn't help but remember that conversation with Karl's cousin and his wife. I felt pretty silly about my then confident reply. Thinking back on how sure I was that it would be easy to let my first born move away, and living through the experience of it were two different things.

My brother in law, who is a new father, recently asked me how I will be with Krista heading off soon. I told him I thought it would be okay, but I just really didn't know. Certainly I have tried to feel into this potentiality, and try as I might, I just can't. As we were driving up through Los Angeles for a brief stretch on the road, I felt myself move through the first hints of getting ready to let Krista go. A wave of grief washed over me, as I realized she will be making this drive on her own before too long, going to and from school. Aha. So there it is. The grief, just a smidgen of it peeking out. What will it really be like? I have no idea.

During the two years Ry has been away, he has moved further away in some ways, and closer in others. Our relationship has changed, it has grown, become richer and deeper, and yet it is clear he doesn't need me. He even wants to consult with me less. Ouch. That hurts. And yet, he is happy, self confident, doing well in school, happily in a loving relationship with an adorable girlfriend. I couldn't ask for more, and I wouldn't want to take any of that away from him. So that said, as I stand in this in between space with Krista, I find myself treasuring every interaction, the giggles we have, the insight she surprises me with, the passion she shares about different subjects. The woman she has become. Wow. I wouldn't want to get in the way of this.

Just as Steve Martin learns to get on board with his daughter's joy in her engagement and wedding planning, I am getting on board with releasing Krista. It is not always easy. I might not always be graceful, but I am doing my best to follow her lead. After all, I have done this once before. With great success. Well, mostly. I can do this again. It is the most loving thing I can do.

Ode to KTMAC

KTMAC. It is pronounced "K" - "T", "MAC". This is our book club: Kim, Terry, Marianne, Ami and Cheryl. KTMAC. These women touch my heart. If you love books, I suggest you join a book club. If there isn't one you can find, make one up. KTMAC has been meeting for over 10 years. I know, shocking! We are shocked too. We have read over 100 books, we have lists and ratings to prove it! We have enjoyed wonderful meals, at one another's homes and out. We have done breakfast, lunch, dinner, movies, holiday celebrations, even weddings and showers. We are a varied group, with strong opinions, values and beliefs. I knew it would be great to be in a book club when we started, but I didn't know how great.

I didn't know these would become some of my dearest friends. We meet monthly, and over the years we have formed a bond that has come from sharing our deepest thoughts, desires and beliefs, sometimes triggered by what we've read, but often not. We don't always agree with one another, but we do always love and respect one another, and we are always kind.

These women have given me so much. I can hardly explain it all here. Each one has been a role model for me. Teaching me certainly about true and abiding friendship, but also about long, loving marriages (collectively we've been married over 150 years to our same husbands - WOW), caring for family members and friends in need, raising up puppies and chillins, hostessing with heart, welcoming in daughter's and son's in law and being graceful Mother's in law, the joys of grand-parenting, the pitfalls of financial hardships, wo-men-o-pause, the importance of doing for others, even those we don't know who live a world away, and being good stewards of the earth, to name a few. These women walk the talk. They are the real deal. They are loving, loyal, enduring, kind and pure of heart. Together we have celebrated the joys life brings, supported one another through the challenges and have mourned the losses. We have been touched by peace, grace, inspiration, and joy in one another's company countless times. We have laughed so hard we cried, and touched one another to tears. Over these years, we have grown to be dear friends. I always wanted to be a part of the wisdom, support and kinship of women like this, it is better than any book I've read. I am blessed. These are the Ladies of The Book Club KTMAC, they touch my heart. We meet once a month, and we always have fun. I love you Ladies, and I love KTMAC.

P.S. If you are thinking you want this in your life too (let's face it, who wouldn't?) it doesn't have to be a book club. It can be a loving friend fest, or pizza lovers club. Whatever. Just get a group together, show up and listen with love. Do it again and again. Let the magic happen. Oh and laugh, you have to laugh, mostly at yourselves, oh and at words like polyamory. What? Why? Did I have to go there? I just did.

I Am Rich Beyond Measure

I am rich beyond measure, let me count the ways...

Today I celebrate the love of my life, Karl. I won the marriage lottery with him! I love you Sweetheart. You make everyday a day of loving, from when I wake in the morning until my head hits the pillow at night. Thank you my love. I celebrate our wonderful kids, Ryan and Krista. How can it be that I won the Mother lottery too! Wow. You guys amaze me. I stand in awe of you both. I couldn't ask for two more loving, kind, thoughtful, intelligent children. You three are the greatest blessings in my life. Karl, we did a pretty good job! Phew! Thank you. I celebrate Dakota for the blessing she is in Ry's life. You touch me. It is a special thing when a young woman falls in love with your son, I am blessed by you loving Ry. Thank you Sweet Dakota.

I celebrate my loving family of origin, and Karl's loving family of origin, including inlaw's, outlaws, nieces and nephews. Not everyone has such amazing grandparents, aunts, uncles, parents, brothers, sister's in law, and nieces and nephews, and cousins as we do. We are truly blessed by where we landed, warts and all. I wouldn't change a hair on anyone's head. I love you all, and I am grateful for you in our lives.

I celebrate and I am thankful for my dear friends. I was once told by a friend that one of the things she loved most about me is the amazing friends I surround myself with. She is a wise woman, and she is so right. That gift has served to make me aware of this precious gift of my friends, in all the places and spaces they have shown up in my life. I thank you again.

I am grateful for the dogs in our lives. They truly are the epitome of love, loyalty and devotion. Thank you our furry friends!

If you have found your way to my blog, and we have yet to lay eyes upon one another, I am grateful for you too.

So whether you live near or far, know you are always close to my heart!

Thank you one and thank you all for the tremendous gift of YOU in my life. I am rich beyond measure!

Celebrate and Spread Love and Gratitude today and everyday!

Spread the Love

Today, on the Eve of St. Valentine's it seems appropriate to talk about love. Who we love and how we love says so much about us. As I ponder that thought and consider who I love, I feel so blessed by the presence of dear friends and family in my life. I can think back on earlier times and remember spinning in circles in some relationships, trying to figure out who I was and how to move about in this world. I must be a slow learner, it took me some time to uncover the underlying conditions which were my boulder sized blocks to love. Not that I am done removing those blocks, but I have whittled some down in size.

Does that mean I didn't really love anyone until recently? No, of course not! Learning about love is messy, but it involves getting in there and figuring it out. It makes me infinitely more grateful for those friends and family members who have been there for the long haul. It seems to me that as we are working to heal ourselves and remove the blocks to love, most people are working in one of three areas: with our friendships, with our primary love relationship, or with our family of origin. We work in all three areas, but at any one time we are generally centered in one of these three. Perhaps knowing this you can identify which area you are currently working on the most.

My dear, sweet husband has loved me through many years of my stumbling and bumbling in all my relationships with friends and family. Our children and our families of origin and our friendships have all been part of the mixture to make our lives rich. Today we have settled into a gentle rhythm, without the drama, trauma and stress of out of balance relationships. It is a blessing to have a peace-filled life. It has been a gift we share and enjoy and which affects all aspects of our lives. It is the gift that keeps on giving. Actually, that is what love is. It gets recycled, and regifted and just keeps getting better with time.

This week as you contemplate love, stretching yourself and spreading your love, remember to take a second to thank all those you love and have loved along the way. Even silently thank those friends and family who are no longer in your circle, or who have moved on, physically or emotionally. They have helped to shape who you are today. Good, bad or indifferent, thanking them for their part in shaping you is another way to help remove the blocks to love.

Sending you Love and Blessings with Joy and Gratitude!

Where Do We Go From Here?

Lately the song "Where do we go from here", from The Alan Parsons Project keeps running around in my head. The same few words,

"Where do we go from here now that all of the children have grown up?"

I guess this is a reminder that it is getting to be that time. All of the children are growing up, my baby is 18. She is headed off to college in the fall, our son is on the far side of his Sophomore year in college, and has made the shift to feeling more at 'home' when he is away at school.

So what does it mean? What will I be filling my days with, now that the bulk of my job is ending. My job, being Mom, has been the most important and rewarding work of my life. We have raised two great people. I look forward to seeing where their lives take them. It is their time now, they are taking the reigns.

I am not imagining I am done being Mom, I am saying most of the hours the job requires have gone down, way down. I am headed into a time of great transition. I am looking forward to this time, and I have been preparing for it, as best I can. How do you prepare for the unknown? I don't know! I laugh as I say that, but that is the truth, and becoming comfortable with not knowing is the best thing I can do. If I thought I knew what to do, I might feel more relaxed, but that doesn't seem right. It feels like it is important to keep myself flexible even though as I say that it feels a bit scary, but in a good way. I am going to try to keep myself open to the possibilities. To keep suiting up and showing up, to keep paying attention wherever my heart leads me, and to be careful not to fall into the trap of getting too comfortable, and not doing enough stretching. It would be easy to do. Now it feels like I have permission to coast a bit, and I will and yet, now I can spread my wings to the world of possibilities. I am looking forward to playing more, more drawing, more writing, more dabbling in the healing arts, and who knows what else. I am keeping some room open on my tray of life. If I know what all I will be doing, I am filling up all the nooks and crannies, then there will not be room for The Unknown, for Divine Magic to happen. I am keeping some space available for that. It is a bit uncomfortable, I am getting used to that.

So the song says, "Where do we go from here?" I don't know. I just don't know, and that is okay. More Alan Parsons Project, "If I promised you the moon and stars would you believe it?" Let's open our hearts and leap into the next phase of our lives. Whatever is going on in your life, we are all heading into new times. Do you have room for The Unknown, what about the moon and stars? Breathe, get centered. Let's go.

Sending you Blessings and Love for a wonderful day today and every day.

The Power of Words

"A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live that day" Emily Dickinson

That is one of my Mother's favorite quotes. She would often recite it to us, to help us understand the power of words, ours and those of other people. Words. They have power. Today is a Holiday to honor Martin Luther King Jr. and it seems appropriate that this is the day I feel compelled to write about the power of our words. Certainly Dr. King lives on, in part by the power of words.

I was watching Maya Angelou recently and I was reminded of how beautifully she uses written and spoken words. Her poetry, her story, it is all about the power of words, and she is a master. As I discussed this today with a dear friend, we were talking about the work of Dr. Masuru Emoto, the Japanese author and scientist who has studied the effects of words, written and spoken upon water. In a nutshell, he has taken samples of water and frozen them, shaved off slivers of the ice and looked at them under a microscope to see the crystal patterns in the water. He has samples from all over the world. Different waters display different crystals. That's interesting, but there's more. If the water has been prayed over, or stored in a container with a word on it, a different crystal forms. If a "beautiful" word is used, like Love, Forgiveness, Peace, the crystals are beautiful snowflake like patterns. If an "ugly" word is used, the crystals are fractured and messy. Okay, fine, that's all well and good, but if you begin to think that as human beings we are made up of 80% or so water, then 80% of your body is affected by the words that are being thought and spoken around you, perhaps that is something worth monitoring. Maybe his work is actual proof of the impact of words {if you are interested in learning more about Dr. Emoto's work, I encourage you to read any of his books, "The Message in Water" for one, or his most recent book, "Love Thyself, The Message in Water"}.

Last night my daughter and I witnessed a woman get angry and frustrated with a server at a restaurant. The manager came over, and after repeatedly trying to soothe the woman, finally, he offered her some compensation. Until she left he continued to try to soothe her. Finally this grown man said to her, "I feel so bad. I want to just go crawl in the bushes over there". I think he was reflecting to her just how badly her words were making him feel. Let me say the service was terrible, but for us it was a good night. Of course we did wait a LOOOONG time for dinner, just as our neighbor had. Actually, it was as though were were having two different experiences. We were having a pleasant mother and daughter bonding time and our neighbor was seething. We didn't complain to the manager, we didn't complain to the server, we smiled and made conversation about how busy they were and how challenging that can be. I don't know what they gave to the woman who was so unhappy, but they gave us a free dinner. We had a wonderfully relaxing, enjoyable evening and were tickled by the bonus of a free dinner. The words of the manager, wanting to crawl into the bushes, and the crumpled face of our server, as she nearly cried from the stress continue to remind me of the power of words. I am not judging or faulting the unhappy diner next to us. I think we have all been in her shoes, and I confess, I have even gotten angry with someone who was just doing their job. I can't change that. What I can do, is weild the power of words responsibly, lovingly even. So how do you want to weild the power of words? What if we are not talking about a restaurant, but at our own home with those we love? What do we want our legacy to be?

Let's begin to pay closer attention to our words. If you catch yourself using words in a negative way, complaining or grumbling you can undo it. Replace the thought or word with a new one, a better one. It is a step in the right direction of making the world a better place, one word at a time. One moment at a time. From the inside out, beginning with you and me. In our hearts, in our minds and coming out of our mouths. Let's spread the words...love, peace, grace, gratitude, joy... you get the idea.

Oh, and let me know how it goes! I would love to hear!

Thank you for reading! I am great-full for you!

Sending you Love and Blessings, Kim

An Abundance of Blessings...

I have so much to be thankful for. As I say my prayers at the end of the day, I do my best to include a list of gratitude. I start with my husband, he is a wonderful, thoughtful, sweet, conscientious, loving man, and I am amazed that I was smart enough at 21 to marry this man. I was really not that well equipped to make such a momentous decision, my frontal lobe not being fully formed and all. That is one reason I know we are are blessed by a Divine Presence. That I found this man, and then managed to be smart enough to not just date him, but also to marry him is a testament to there being more going on than meets the eye at any given time.

Next I am grateful for our children, my favorite son and my favorite daughter. This an inside joke of sorts. I have a dear and loving friend who mentioned she thought I favored one of my children over the other. I thought a lot about this comment and ultimately decided to ask each of my children privately, which one of them did they think was my favorite child. They each smiled sweetly and said they secretly knew they were the favorite! I told them the story of the woman who told all her cousins at the gathering for their beloved grandmother's funeral that she had the most special relationship with their grandmother. In fact, she knew she was their grandmother's favorite, because she had told her so in confidence many times. At this point the room erupted with each of the cousins declaring that she had told them the very same thing. I have made it a point to let each of them know they are indeed my favorite, and to remove debate upon my passing, I make it clear that they are my favorite son and favorite daughter. I love the legacy from the grandmother that each one of those grown children thought they were their grandmother's favorite child. What a gift! I would love for the debate at my funeral to be who I loved the most, because everyone I loved knew they were special in my heart. Of course, everyone I love, I do have a special place in my heart for. I am blessed by a wonderful family, that Karl and I have created, as well as a wonderful family of origin, I was lucky enough to be born into. Karl and I are blessed by our extended families and by an amazing group of very special friends we have gathered along our journey.

There is so much to be thankful for. I haven't even gotten to all the showers of blessings we are surrounded by everyday, good health, a warm home, food to grace our table daily. There are so many blessings. The most important one of all is LOVE. To love and be loved, beginning with loving ourselves and going out from there. The more we are loving with ourselves, the more we are able to tap into that love, and share it with those who surround us. I am most grateful for all the blessings of love in my life. If you read this, I know you are someone special, and I am "great-full" for you in my life. Thank you.

Is there someone you are thankful for? Do they know how special they are to you? Let's make sure they all know how blessed we feel by the loved ones in our lives! Take a moment to make someone's day and let them know you are grateful for them in your life. Have a blessed day!

The Holy Days

I know, the holidays are done for now. We are moving into January, a new year and all of that, but I wanted to take a moment to share some of my Holy-Day reflections from this year. For myself I find that Holy-Days are an opportunity for healing. I find anytime the family gets together, those are Holy Days. And let's be real here...actually, all of our days are Holy. Meaning there is the opporunity for us to touch someone else in a meaningful way, for us to reveal our woundedness and perhaps work on healing it, and even to share our love with those around us. Communion with others, that is Holy, healing, yes that's Holy and of course sharing love, well of course that is what Holiness is all about, LOVE.

So following the theme this year gifted to me at vision quest, to be more gentle with myself I found the Holy Days to be more Holy! Wow! Who knew that being more gentle on myself would mean I would be more pleasant to be around? How does that work? Well, it relieved so much of the pressure I was always putting on myself to be the perfect wife, daughter, sister, sister-in-law, aunt, hostess, chef, gift giver, the list goes on and on... you can imagine. So, this year I was successful at NOT casting myself in the role of martyr for the Holy Day celebrations. Along with that role, I also was able to release the requisite melt down, either with tears or anger before the guests arrived on Christmas Eve. Gone was the pressure to be perfect, and in its place was a joyful heart and a desire to enjoy myself, to love the day, and to love everyone I was blessed to have joining us for this Holy Day.

As I looked at everyone seated around the dinner table and listened to their conversation, I was able to just be. To be present and enjoy their company. To be in the moment, to love and be loved, and even love myself. To realize that in being hard on myself I was judging myself. When we judge, we displace love, so by being gentle on myself, I am loving myself. By loving myself, I am healing myself and my family. Then I was reminded of the legacy I am giving my children. That they too can go forth and enjoy the Holy Days when they are the ones hosting and hostessing. Just as my mother took the role handed to her by her mother and she improved upon those Holy Days and made them loving and memorable for all of us, I have been able to take that role and allow it to evolve in my care, and I smile sweetly to imagine how my children will evolve and grow The Holy Days when it is their turn.

Every day is a Holy Day, and we all have special opportunities to improve ourselves and the world around us, by being more gentle with ourselves, and allowing the love to shine through. Imagine the power of those days when we are lucky enough to gather together with those we love, those seem to be Uber Holy Days with more people to touch, and deeper connections to be made, with love.

Sending you Love for a Holy Day! Today and All Days!

Return from Vision Quest

I have been out of the electronic loop for about two weeks now. There has been much going on, but first and foremost I was away doing a vision quest. It was a wonderful experience. This was my second year, I am now halfway through a four year commitment. The process is fairly simple, three days of purification lodges, 1,250 prayer ties, for everyone you know or have ever known, and then 24 hours of prayer and fasting outside in a secluded sacred place.

When you commit to do something like this, you are giving a gift to those you know and love, and often there will be "gifts" for you in return. It takes some time to assimilate all the gifts from such an experience, but at this point, there are a few reminders which have surfaced that I thought I would share.

The first one is the reminder that we are not alone. We are surrounded by loved ones who care about us, seen and unseen. There is The Great Mystery. Whatever you choose to call the Higher Power in your own way, and all those angels and guides, as well as all the dear ones we surround ourselves with, family and friends. However this presents itself in your life, I am reminded to have an attitude of gratitude for all these blessings.

The second reminder is a bit more challenging, I find myself looking at it several times a day. That is the reminder to be more gentle with ourselves, and with those around us. We judge ourselves so harshly. We expect so much of ourselves, and then find fault again and again, forever looking for the flaws, rather than noticing and celebrating our successes, in all ways. The better we are able to practice this, the more we improve the world from the inside out. The more gentle we are with ourselves, the more gentle we are with others; friends, family and strangers. The more relaxed and comfortable we are in our own skin, the more we enjoy our lives. Thus the ripple effect goes out from us, improving our outlook on life, and infecting those around us with the ease and grace we walk with.

There are more gifts which have come from my vision quest, but this is a good start.

With love and blessings... Peace and love be with you.

Enough

This week was a challenging one. I was getting sadder and sadder each day and couldn't figure out why. My husband has been working monster hours lately. My daughter went back to school this week, and it is her senior year of high school. Hmmm... We are taking our son back to school for his sophomore year of college in less than a week. Hmmmm again. We might be getting close.

My husband and I had a date night last night. We went out to eat, and enjoyed our time alone. It was a nice respite from all the activity at our house these days. The days seem to be moving so swiftly, I have been reluctant to take time away from everyone for us to have a date night. Why is it so hard to remember to take care of ourselves first when we are on the downward part of a spiral? Yes, even when your good friend tries to remind you the week before that you might need to do just that?!! (Thank you anyway!) It is just part of the process, I guess.

My husband was aware I was not quite my normal self (that is pretty amazing in and of itself given his stress/distraction level!) and asked what was bothering me. As I looked at him and tried to answer his question I realized part of the problem was that I couldn't determine just what the sadness was about. It seems like there could be a zillion reasons, and yet, none seemed to fit exactly. As we talked more, he mentioned how much he has been enjoying having dinner at home with everyone around the dinner table talking and sharing. He was saying, it is not quite the same as when we eat out, (I know, Mom, you were right) and that he appreciated how much extra work it has been for me, cooking for extra people so many nights. Extra people you ask? What extra people? Well, our 23 year old (Happy Birthday Sweetie!) niece has been staying with us this summer, and her boyfriend has been with us the past three weeks as well. Add to that the constant traffic of the pack of young adult men my son travels in, and their late night fridge raids, and you can begin to understand why we've concluded that we can just about pay for our son's college education by the savings in our food bill when he goes back to school. Amusing or not, it is the state of affairs at our house, at least for another week or so.

This lovely compliment from my wonderful husband was making me more aware of feeling sad. Why? I sat at the table, reflecting upon my emotions, and wondering how in the world such a loving comment was making me feel sad. We got in the car and began our ride home, I invited in the sadness. Normaly I would wait until I had some time alone, with a warm salt bath, or at least an hour I could count on as my own to do something this deep. I didn't know if I would have the time to allow it completely. I was asking myself: What is at the core of this sadness? What is the thought that is bringing on this emotion? As I sat in silence, driving home in the late afternoon light, with my husband listening to music on the radio, the sadness flooded into my Being. I waited to see what it would tell me. Very quickly I realized I am dealing with our children growing up, and moving on. As my loving husband was complimenting me, some part of me was wondering, oh, but was it enough? Did we do enough meals at the kitchen table? Which lead to, was I a good enough Mother? Did I give my children enough? Enough what? Enough everything. What is enough? How could I ever know? How can a doubt like that run circles in my head? Where does it lead? Nowheresville, fast!! So as soon as I invited in the sadness, knowing it can not overwhelm me, then I could hear the dialogue which was running around with it, inside me, hidden from my awareness. Then I was able to acknowledge it and release it. How did I let it go? The truth, with love and gratitude. What is the truth in this case? I can never be or do enough. And yet, that is all I can ever be or do. Enough. How can I be or do more than enough? Who says what is enough? I do. Now I can thank the sadness for reminding me where my heart is tied. To the ones I love. Which leads me to: To my husband, I love you Enough and To my children, I love you Enough. I so appreciate you all in my life, and I love every little moment. Enough. Enough is a wonderful thing.