Sunday, January 30, 2011

Transitions II

I've heard so much feedback this last week about transitions. We all move through transition times many times in our lives. It seems many are in their own transitions right now, it seems to be " up" for many of us.

As part of these transition times, it seems many of us are experiencing changes with some people around us. Some of us are finding ourselves disappointed in teachers or leaders we have looked up to. Some of us are finding that we are moving on and leaving some relationships behind, or at least we are experiencing great changes in some of our relationships. How do we proceed? What are we meant to do? We might have to revise some of our relationships. It feels like we are getting reminded to follow our own hearts and Knowingness, to be our own teachers and leaders, instead of giving our power away to someone else. We are seeing our relationships with new eyes and being challenged to meet our own needs, to take care of ourselves, rather than leaning on others or having expectations of others. We are getting ourselves in a better position to hear the whispers of our own Guidance and even more prepared to be of assistance to others.

One of the goals during these times is for all of us to follow our hearts, to follow our passion. If we are putting too much importance on what someone else thinks is right for us right now, or are spending too much time squandering our energy, we are going to be reminded to take a look at this.

For me, I find the more I listen to Guidance, the more smoothly my life runs. The easier each day unfolds. The dance of giving my power away is surely present, perhaps it always will be. For me right now I find myself scrutinizing all relationships. How does this relationship make me feel? Does my heart smile when I think of that person? Well, that is a good sign, and it is pretty easy to figure out how to proceed then. The more complicated relationships for me right now are those which I feel strongly that I am meant to be in the relationship, I love the person, and yet something is changing. We are redefining, renegotiating our relationship. For some reason there is something crying out for shift and change. In these cases, it is more challenging to know how to proceed. I am flying by the seat of my pants in these areas. I don't have a model to follow, I just have to wing it, and see what happens from there. If I don't like the outcome, choose again! That is one of the great gifts of this experience. We have free will. We can choose again, and again, and again, until we get it right. When I find myself in these types of positions, wondering how to proceed, these are the most important times for me to remember the most important relationship of all. My connection to Spirit, God, Goddess, The Great Mystery, whatever works for you. These are the times when calling on Help, asking for Divine Assistance on how to proceed makes me most effective. These relationships are changing too. Trust what you get.

I look forward to hearing how these times affect you and your relationships. I am sharing this, indeed all these postings I share in the hopes that you will see a bit of yourself here. To further recognize that we all experience some similar things as part of the human condition. We are doing our best to make our way. As we work though our situations and are open about the process, then maybe as we help ourselves, we might assist another, just a little bit. It feels like that is at least part of what we are here to do together.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Where Do We Go From Here?

Lately the song "Where do we go from here", from The Alan Parsons Project keeps running around in my head. The same few words,

"Where do we go from here now that all of the children have grown up?"

I guess this is a reminder that it is getting to be that time. All of the children are growing up, my baby is 18. She is headed off to college in the fall, our son is on the far side of his Sophomore year in college, and has made the shift to feeling more at 'home' when he is away at school.

So what does it mean? What will I be filling my days with, now that the bulk of my job is ending. My job, being Mom, has been the most important and rewarding work of my life. We have raised two great people. I look forward to seeing where their lives take them. It is their time now, they are taking the reigns.

I am not imagining I am done being Mom, I am saying most of the hours the job requires have gone down, way down. I am headed into a time of great transition. I am looking forward to this time, and I have been preparing for it, as best I can. How do you prepare for the unknown? I don't know! I laugh as I say that, but that is the truth, and becoming comfortable with not knowing is the best thing I can do. If I thought I knew what to do, I might feel more relaxed, but that doesn't seem right. It feels like it is important to keep myself flexible even though as I say that it feels a bit scary, but in a good way. I am going to try to keep myself open to the possibilities. To keep suiting up and showing up, to keep paying attention wherever my heart leads me, and to be careful not to fall into the trap of getting too comfortable, and not doing enough stretching. It would be easy to do. Now it feels like I have permission to coast a bit, and I will and yet, now I can spread my wings to the world of possibilities. I am looking forward to playing more, more drawing, more writing, more dabbling in the healing arts, and who knows what else. I am keeping some room open on my tray of life. If I know what all I will be doing, I am filling up all the nooks and crannies, then there will not be room for The Unknown, for Divine Magic to happen. I am keeping some space available for that. It is a bit uncomfortable, I am getting used to that.

So the song says, "Where do we go from here?" I don't know. I just don't know, and that is okay. More Alan Parsons Project, "If I promised you the moon and stars would you believe it?" Let's open our hearts and leap into the next phase of our lives. Whatever is going on in your life, we are all heading into new times. Do you have room for The Unknown, what about the moon and stars? Breathe, get centered. Let's go.

Sending you Blessings and Love for a wonderful day today and every day.

Monday, January 17, 2011

The Power of Words

"A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live that day" Emily Dickinson

That is one of my Mother's favorite quotes. She would often recite it to us, to help us understand the power of words, ours and those of other people. Words. They have power. Today is a Holiday to honor Martin Luther King Jr. and it seems appropriate that this is the day I feel compelled to write about the power of our words. Certainly Dr. King lives on, in part by the power of words.

I was watching Maya Angelou recently and I was reminded of how beautifully she uses written and spoken words. Her poetry, her story, it is all about the power of words, and she is a master. As I discussed this today with a dear friend, we were talking about the work of Dr. Masuru Emoto, the Japanese author and scientist who has studied the effects of words, written and spoken upon water. In a nutshell, he has taken samples of water and frozen them, shaved off slivers of the ice and looked at them under a microscope to see the crystal patterns in the water. He has samples from all over the world. Different waters display different crystals. That's interesting, but there's more. If the water has been prayed over, or stored in a container with a word on it, a different crystal forms. If a "beautiful" word is used, like Love, Forgiveness, Peace, the crystals are beautiful snowflake like patterns. If an "ugly" word is used, the crystals are fractured and messy. Okay, fine, that's all well and good, but if you begin to think that as human beings we are made up of 80% or so water, then 80% of your body is affected by the words that are being thought and spoken around you, perhaps that is something worth monitoring. Maybe his work is actual proof of the impact of words {if you are interested in learning more about Dr. Emoto's work, I encourage you to read any of his books, "The Message in Water" for one, or his most recent book, "Love Thyself, The Message in Water"}.

Last night my daughter and I witnessed a woman get angry and frustrated with a server at a restaurant. The manager came over, and after repeatedly trying to soothe the woman, finally, he offered her some compensation. Until she left he continued to try to soothe her. Finally this grown man said to her, "I feel so bad. I want to just go crawl in the bushes over there". I think he was reflecting to her just how badly her words were making him feel. Let me say the service was terrible, but for us it was a good night. Of course we did wait a LOOOONG time for dinner, just as our neighbor had. Actually, it was as though were were having two different experiences. We were having a pleasant mother and daughter bonding time and our neighbor was seething. We didn't complain to the manager, we didn't complain to the server, we smiled and made conversation about how busy they were and how challenging that can be. I don't know what they gave to the woman who was so unhappy, but they gave us a free dinner. We had a wonderfully relaxing, enjoyable evening and were tickled by the bonus of a free dinner. The words of the manager, wanting to crawl into the bushes, and the crumpled face of our server, as she nearly cried from the stress continue to remind me of the power of words. I am not judging or faulting the unhappy diner next to us. I think we have all been in her shoes, and I confess, I have even gotten angry with someone who was just doing their job. I can't change that. What I can do, is weild the power of words responsibly, lovingly even. So how do you want to weild the power of words? What if we are not talking about a restaurant, but at our own home with those we love? What do we want our legacy to be?

Let's begin to pay closer attention to our words. If you catch yourself using words in a negative way, complaining or grumbling you can undo it. Replace the thought or word with a new one, a better one. It is a step in the right direction of making the world a better place, one word at a time. One moment at a time. From the inside out, beginning with you and me. In our hearts, in our minds and coming out of our mouths. Let's spread the, peace, grace, gratitude, joy... you get the idea.

Oh, and let me know how it goes! I would love to hear!

Thank you for reading! I am great-full for you!

Sending you Love and Blessings, Kim

Monday, January 10, 2011

An Abundance of Blessings...

I have so much to be thankful for. As I say my prayers at the end of the day, I do my best to include a list of gratitude. I start with my husband, he is a wonderful, thoughtful, sweet, conscientious, loving man, and I am amazed that I was smart enough at 21 to marry this man. I was really not that well equipped to make such a momentous decision, my frontal lobe not being fully formed and all. That is one reason I know we are are blessed by a Divine Presence. That I found this man, and then managed to be smart enough to not just date him, but also to marry him is a testament to there being more going on than meets the eye at any given time.

Next I am grateful for our children, my favorite son and my favorite daughter. This an inside joke of sorts. I have a dear and loving friend who mentioned she thought I favored one of my children over the other. I thought a lot about this comment and ultimately decided to ask each of my children privately, which one of them did they think was my favorite child. They each smiled sweetly and said they secretly knew they were the favorite! I told them the story of the woman who told all her cousins at the gathering for their beloved grandmother's funeral that she had the most special relationship with their grandmother. In fact, she knew she was their grandmother's favorite, because she had told her so in confidence many times. At this point the room erupted with each of the cousins declaring that she had told them the very same thing. I have made it a point to let each of them know they are indeed my favorite, and to remove debate upon my passing, I make it clear that they are my favorite son and favorite daughter. I love the legacy from the grandmother that each one of those grown children thought they were their grandmother's favorite child. What a gift! I would love for the debate at my funeral to be who I loved the most, because everyone I loved knew they were special in my heart. Of course, everyone I love, I do have a special place in my heart for. I am blessed by a wonderful family, that Karl and I have created, as well as a wonderful family of origin, I was lucky enough to be born into. Karl and I are blessed by our extended families and by an amazing group of very special friends we have gathered along our journey.

There is so much to be thankful for. I haven't even gotten to all the showers of blessings we are surrounded by everyday, good health, a warm home, food to grace our table daily. There are so many blessings. The most important one of all is LOVE. To love and be loved, beginning with loving ourselves and going out from there. The more we are loving with ourselves, the more we are able to tap into that love, and share it with those who surround us. I am most grateful for all the blessings of love in my life. If you read this, I know you are someone special, and I am "great-full" for you in my life. Thank you.

Is there someone you are thankful for? Do they know how special they are to you? Let's make sure they all know how blessed we feel by the loved ones in our lives! Take a moment to make someone's day and let them know you are grateful for them in your life. Have a blessed day!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Holy Days

I know, the holidays are done for now. We are moving into January, a new year and all of that, but I wanted to take a moment to share some of my Holy-Day reflections from this year. For myself I find that Holy-Days are an opportunity for healing. I find anytime the family gets together, those are Holy Days. And let's be real here...actually, all of our days are Holy. Meaning there is the opporunity for us to touch someone else in a meaningful way, for us to reveal our woundedness and perhaps work on healing it, and even to share our love with those around us. Communion with others, that is Holy, healing, yes that's Holy and of course sharing love, well of course that is what Holiness is all about, LOVE.

So following the theme this year gifted to me at vision quest, to be more gentle with myself I found the Holy Days to be more Holy! Wow! Who knew that being more gentle on myself would mean I would be more pleasant to be around? How does that work? Well, it relieved so much of the pressure I was always putting on myself to be the perfect wife, daughter, sister, sister-in-law, aunt, hostess, chef, gift giver, the list goes on and on... you can imagine. So, this year I was successful at NOT casting myself in the role of martyr for the Holy Day celebrations. Along with that role, I also was able to release the requisite melt down, either with tears or anger before the guests arrived on Christmas Eve. Gone was the pressure to be perfect, and in its place was a joyful heart and a desire to enjoy myself, to love the day, and to love everyone I was blessed to have joining us for this Holy Day.

As I looked at everyone seated around the dinner table and listened to their conversation, I was able to just be. To be present and enjoy their company. To be in the moment, to love and be loved, and even love myself. To realize that in being hard on myself I was judging myself. When we judge, we displace love, so by being gentle on myself, I am loving myself. By loving myself, I am healing myself and my family. Then I was reminded of the legacy I am giving my children. That they too can go forth and enjoy the Holy Days when they are the ones hosting and hostessing. Just as my mother took the role handed to her by her mother and she improved upon those Holy Days and made them loving and memorable for all of us, I have been able to take that role and allow it to evolve in my care, and I smile sweetly to imagine how my children will evolve and grow The Holy Days when it is their turn.

Every day is a Holy Day, and we all have special opportunities to improve ourselves and the world around us, by being more gentle with ourselves, and allowing the love to shine through. Imagine the power of those days when we are lucky enough to gather together with those we love, those seem to be Uber Holy Days with more people to touch, and deeper connections to be made, with love.

Sending you Love for a Holy Day! Today and All Days!