Witness to a Piece of Peace

I am an Oprah fan from way back. I have watched her show and I have evolved and grown as a human being as I have watched Oprah's hairstyles change, her dress sizes change, and her heart change. Last week I watched Oprah's recent two part interview with James Frey, the author of "A Million Little Pieces". For context, this was a new interview five years after the famous public shaming interview of James Frey by Oprah. I felt Oprah went over the top that day so long ago. James Frey experienced a public humiliation. No matter where you fall on the topic of James Frey and his lack of honesty to whatever degrees in his memoir, it was shocking to see Oprah hold his feet to the fire. It was not Oprah's finest hour.

This is a woman who has raised the consciousness level of television. She and her team are all about redemption, compassion, evolution, responsibility and love. So to witness Oprah tear James Frey limb from limb five years ago, it was like watching a public stoning; horrifying, devastating, deeply disturbing. Here was a model of human evolution in action, acting from such a base place.

Oprah, your human was showing. Really! That was what I felt. For both James and Oprah, I saw two great teachers acting out their lessons in front of the world, and I felt profound compassion for them both, and deep gratitude. Compassion for their pain and wounds, for their inability to see the situation they were in for the great lesson plan it was. Gratitude that they were willing to display this for all the world to see, and possibly to learn from. Selfishly grateful also that it was not my life on exhibit. Heaven knows I am human as well and have made my fair share of horrifying mistakes, which thankfully have not been aired, dissected or debated on national tv.

So after last week, I bestow upon Oprah and James the Noble Prize (yes I am aware I have changed Nobel to Noble...as I am not actually qualified to bestow a Nobel Prize, as yet) for Generosity of Self, in the area of Displaying Personal Growth. On the second of the two interviews last week, Oprah apologized to James, taking full responsibility for acting from her ego in her interview from five years ago. Well, I have to tell you, I was so touched and impressed. It felt as though there was redemption for all! I was so impressed by the way they both conducted themselves. It was triumphant!

Okay, so it isn't peace in the Middle East, but it is peace in the heart of these two people, and millions of us got to bear witness and had the opportunity to take a piece of piece in our hearts as well. To witness healing, transformation, personal evolution, responsibility in action, compassion, forgiveness and love is healing for us all. After seeing such a different display with the same players five years later, all I can say is, Bravo! Well done! James was contrite in the first interview, in this second one he was taking responsibility with clarity and conviction. What a beautiful example to the world. Oh, and Oprah, you get a standing O-vation from me! Awe-some! A sight to behold. Thank you for showing us the glory of humanity at her finest. I am so touched.

No matter if you like Oprah or not, and as I have said I do! She has been a fixture of our culture. She has been a great teacher. Sometimes our teachers help us to see a better way to be, sometimes they show us by example what not to do. It seems particularly precious to see the arc of evolution on one incident. To see someone make a mistake, to become aware of the error, to do the work to evolve and heal enough to take responsibility and make amends. That is grace-full. That is how it is done. My hat is off to both Oprah and James Frey.


We are all human. We all have lessons and opportunities for healing, growth, responsibility, compassion and love. We can all have peace in our hearts. The more peace we have, the further we get out of our own way, the greater the love and compassion we carry and share. It is just that simple, it is just that hard.

Spread the Love

Today, on the Eve of St. Valentine's it seems appropriate to talk about love. Who we love and how we love says so much about us. As I ponder that thought and consider who I love, I feel so blessed by the presence of dear friends and family in my life. I can think back on earlier times and remember spinning in circles in some relationships, trying to figure out who I was and how to move about in this world. I must be a slow learner, it took me some time to uncover the underlying conditions which were my boulder sized blocks to love. Not that I am done removing those blocks, but I have whittled some down in size.

Does that mean I didn't really love anyone until recently? No, of course not! Learning about love is messy, but it involves getting in there and figuring it out. It makes me infinitely more grateful for those friends and family members who have been there for the long haul. It seems to me that as we are working to heal ourselves and remove the blocks to love, most people are working in one of three areas: with our friendships, with our primary love relationship, or with our family of origin. We work in all three areas, but at any one time we are generally centered in one of these three. Perhaps knowing this you can identify which area you are currently working on the most.

My dear, sweet husband has loved me through many years of my stumbling and bumbling in all my relationships with friends and family. Our children and our families of origin and our friendships have all been part of the mixture to make our lives rich. Today we have settled into a gentle rhythm, without the drama, trauma and stress of out of balance relationships. It is a blessing to have a peace-filled life. It has been a gift we share and enjoy and which affects all aspects of our lives. It is the gift that keeps on giving. Actually, that is what love is. It gets recycled, and regifted and just keeps getting better with time.

This week as you contemplate love, stretching yourself and spreading your love, remember to take a second to thank all those you love and have loved along the way. Even silently thank those friends and family who are no longer in your circle, or who have moved on, physically or emotionally. They have helped to shape who you are today. Good, bad or indifferent, thanking them for their part in shaping you is another way to help remove the blocks to love.

Sending you Love and Blessings with Joy and Gratitude!

The Holy Days

I know, the holidays are done for now. We are moving into January, a new year and all of that, but I wanted to take a moment to share some of my Holy-Day reflections from this year. For myself I find that Holy-Days are an opportunity for healing. I find anytime the family gets together, those are Holy Days. And let's be real here...actually, all of our days are Holy. Meaning there is the opporunity for us to touch someone else in a meaningful way, for us to reveal our woundedness and perhaps work on healing it, and even to share our love with those around us. Communion with others, that is Holy, healing, yes that's Holy and of course sharing love, well of course that is what Holiness is all about, LOVE.

So following the theme this year gifted to me at vision quest, to be more gentle with myself I found the Holy Days to be more Holy! Wow! Who knew that being more gentle on myself would mean I would be more pleasant to be around? How does that work? Well, it relieved so much of the pressure I was always putting on myself to be the perfect wife, daughter, sister, sister-in-law, aunt, hostess, chef, gift giver, the list goes on and on... you can imagine. So, this year I was successful at NOT casting myself in the role of martyr for the Holy Day celebrations. Along with that role, I also was able to release the requisite melt down, either with tears or anger before the guests arrived on Christmas Eve. Gone was the pressure to be perfect, and in its place was a joyful heart and a desire to enjoy myself, to love the day, and to love everyone I was blessed to have joining us for this Holy Day.

As I looked at everyone seated around the dinner table and listened to their conversation, I was able to just be. To be present and enjoy their company. To be in the moment, to love and be loved, and even love myself. To realize that in being hard on myself I was judging myself. When we judge, we displace love, so by being gentle on myself, I am loving myself. By loving myself, I am healing myself and my family. Then I was reminded of the legacy I am giving my children. That they too can go forth and enjoy the Holy Days when they are the ones hosting and hostessing. Just as my mother took the role handed to her by her mother and she improved upon those Holy Days and made them loving and memorable for all of us, I have been able to take that role and allow it to evolve in my care, and I smile sweetly to imagine how my children will evolve and grow The Holy Days when it is their turn.

Every day is a Holy Day, and we all have special opportunities to improve ourselves and the world around us, by being more gentle with ourselves, and allowing the love to shine through. Imagine the power of those days when we are lucky enough to gather together with those we love, those seem to be Uber Holy Days with more people to touch, and deeper connections to be made, with love.

Sending you Love for a Holy Day! Today and All Days!

This is a "we" thing

After a long and lovely conversation with a dear friend this morning, I am reminded that when we are in distress our instinct is to often isolate ourselves. What is the story we are telling ourselves? That we can do it alone? That we don't want to burden anyone else? That we think if someone else saw our scary bits, they might not love us still? None of these are rational thoughts, and yet, they are all real thoughts. No matter the reason, isolation is not the answer. Whether we isolate our emotional or physical pain, or of we insulate ourselves from the world and try to do it all on our own, we are suffering unnecessarily. There is no need to suffer alone. There is no need to suffer period. Actually, sharing our "burden" somehow makes it lighter. Somehow, just telling a friend, or loved one what is going on for us, what is happening in our heart, that can be the beginning of making sense of the situation, and the beginning of the healing. Even if the response from the friend or loved one is not a match, there is information for us there. As we put their responses through our own discernment, we are exercising our inner voice. Which helps us to further navigate though our life. We are also using a different part of our brain to talk about or write about the situation, which can assist us further in separating ourselves from the pain, and begin to move towards healing.

We are social creatures, and as such, we are meant to do this life thing together. The further I go the more I treasure those around me. The more aware I am of the blessings of dear friends and family. To love and be loved. That is at the core of all of our experiential wounding. We all need love. So as you go through a challenge, remember to call upon a friend, to be present to yourself as you go through your process, and you will give the gift of growing and evolving yourself, (for yourself and the planet) as well as allowing someone else to be there for you. They get the opportunity to love and support you, which is a gift indeed. If you see a loved one in distress, gently remind them that you are here for them, if they need you.

As we are present with ourselves and one another, remember to be present in love. To leave judgement at the door, and just love this other human through their very human experience of pain. Your job may be to just bear witness, or to give a hug. You may not need to say anything, but the right words will follow, if they are needed.

Lastly, pray. Remember, this is a We thing. Whenever two or more of us come together, we are in the presence of The Great Mystery. There is all kinds of help available to us, helpers, angels, ancestors, guides, all those beings that are here to assist us all for our highest and best and for the highest and best of future generations. This is part of how "we" do this...together. Now go on and love one another.

With love and blessings, and joy and gratitude!