Sunday, July 24, 2011

It's Getting Hot in Here!

This has been an interesting week. The heat is getting turned up all around us. It feels like everyone I know is feeling this in one way or another. The temperature is rising in many parts of the country, which seems like an apt metaphor for so many of our personal experiences with the stressors increasing. As the pressures increase, we have one responsibility. That is to hold calm center. To hold peace and love in our heart. If we can get ourselves to joy and gratitude all the better! To bring the crisis or troubles we experience as they surface to the Altar of Love in our heart and turn it over to The Divine. Whatever that means for you. Know that we all have loving help just waiting to assist us. All we need to do is ask. Turn it over, release it and wait patiently for the resolution or answers to come.

No matter what happens we have response-ability; that is the ability to respond. In challenging times one of our first responses can be to hold the troubling situation, and/or people in love. To set aside the ego attachments to what is right or wrong, good or bad, up or down. To turn it over to The Divine and ask "Thy will be done for the highest and best of all involved for all our relations and future generations". As my brother very lovingly reminded me many years ago when I was struggling with a difficult situation, "Is it better to be kind, or to be right?". This became my mantra as I moved through a sticky situation with someone who was holding firmly to their version of what was "right". Moving through this was no easy task, in fact, our running joke is that I had a difficult time saying "kind" in response to his question because I was so attached to being "right". Why? Because keeping track of my version of the truth was part of what made me feel sane. I was ego attached to my story, I thought I might perish or somehow be swallowed up if I released it. There was a death as I let go of my version to be kind over being right. It was the death of some of my own self importance and the rebalancing of my ego. As I moved through this, the next step was to ask myself, "What is presenting itself to be healed in me?" To uncover the blocks inside myself which have kept me from feeling the loving, calm, peaceful center. As life is not all roses, butterflies, rainbows and unicorns, we find ourselves facing challenges, in stress and turmoil, which is the reminder that it is time to turn it over. That we are not in charge. That we don't always know what is for everyone's highest and best, no matter what it seems like from our window of perspective.

Pain is part of the human experience and suffering is optional. If we continue to hold on to our version of what is "right" we suffer. As we release our hold on the challenges that come up, as we turn them over, we are able to return to calm center. We may have to remind ourselves to turn the situation over more than once, maybe many times. As fully functioning adults, we are so good at being self reliant and self sufficient that when we turn something over, we will most often take it back. When we find ourselves ruminating on the subject, that is an indicator that we have pulled it back and hello! We can turn it over again. I expect most of us (myself included) will get to do this process again and again and again, maybe even in the same day.

As we turn our troubles, worries and concerns over, we are freed up to hold calm center, to be peaceful, even joy-full. Here is our response-ability, to spread love and joy during challenging times such as these. To brighten someone else's life rather than burden someone else. This is a "we" thing. We are here to assist one another. One of the BEST ways we can do that is to be functional human beings. To take responsibility for our own actions. To first of all do no harm, to take care of ourselves and our loved ones, then spread it out from there. It is important to spread the love and joy, but first we must make room for it in our hearts, then in our homes, moving out through our family, friends and neighbors, then moving on from there. If we all stay in our challenges, holding on to them, muddling through, we are more apt to spread the dis-ease in our hearts like a contagious virus. Would you rather live in a world where we are driving along and living beside and experiencing life surrounded by other humans who are in a peaceful, open hearted place, or surrounded by other humans who are frustrated, overwhelmed, and on edge? Would you rather be an agent of The Divine spreading love, peace and joy, or a victim of circumstances bumbling, rumbling and grumbling along? I choose the former! I choose love. I choose living life fully and spreading love and joy, being kind rather than right, with compassion that not everyone else is ready to do so, even as we all move through our challenges. Simultaneously I have compassion for myself that I am not perfect and I may not always be able to model this all the time.

All of that said we are humans. We are in fact all wounded humans moving through life. Bumping into one another's woundedness is part of the human condition, indeed wounding one another is part of being human. It is how we conduct ourselves as we realize we are bumping into someone else's wound, or as we feel our own wounds activated. This is just an opportunity for healing. I am reminded of the old school emergency fire training: stop, drop and roll. In this case when you find yourself swept into the drama, trauma and stress (the metaphorical house fire, the heat getting turned up) stop, drop and roll it over. Release the issue causing tension and fill your heart with love and compassion.

May you have a blessing filled day, and may you spread love and joy from your calm center.

With Love and Blessings for all our relations and future generations. And so it is.

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Sunday, July 17, 2011

The Perfect Purse and The Law of Attraction

I have been looking for the perfect new purse. I have been carrying the same purse for several years now, off and on and while I love it, it is beginning to show its age. My criteria for a new purse is varied: it has to have a shoulder strap, a few pockets inside would be nice, not too big or too small. As Goldie Locks so eloquently put it, it needed to be "Just right". That I find it attractive is important, that it be a bit different, but not too different (kind of like me) and most of all that it be a bargain! Well, I have been looking and looking. It has not been easy.

The search has finally ended! I have found a wonderful new purse! I am sure we will be very happy together for some time to come. It met all my requirements! I was with my daughter, and on a whim we went into a TJ Max. She walked towards me with the most adorable purse, meeting all my requirements, including price! Under forty dollars. As I held the purse, trying it on and seeing if it had the requisite number of pockets, etc... I was reminded that this is the reward for patience. We had just come from the Coach Outlet store where I was contemplating a purse, for a lot more money, that was just sort of right. Not perfect. I nearly bought it because I was so tired of dragging around my worn out purse. I was so grateful I waited. I flashed to all the areas in my life right now which are calling for an extra dose of patience, and it feels to me that this purse is my reminder of the Law of Attraction in action. The results are always in harmony and a win - win solution. I can have the beautiful purse, with all the bells and whistles I want (and let's face it, these are all wants I am talking about, not needs) and the price will be right as well. I don't need to feel guilty for having wants beyond our needs. For desiring aesthetic beauty as well as functionality and a reasonable price.

We have all been re-adjusting our wants. For us, long gone are the luxury vacations, being showered with expensive jewelry, the shopping sprees at the holidays searching for the perfect gifts. These things are no longer even important to me. In our family, we have all pared down and cut out much of the "fat" in our lifestyle. It has been challenging and rewarding. As these uncertain financial times continue, I am always looking for more ways to cut back, especially given the added expenses of a second child going off to university in the fall.

This purse reminded me to trust in the process and get out of my own way. The Law of Attraction works. Waiting a bit to find the right purse for the right price. I didn't set out consciously thinking, "I want to employ the Law of Attraction to bring a new purse into my life". I had a specific desire list for a new purse. I looked around all tne places that fit for my requirements, i.e. I didn't look at Home Depot, they don't sell purses. I didn't go to Nieman Marcus, knowing that the price point would be way to high. I didn't sit at home hoping for a purse to magically appear there. I was practical and my actions were applicable. I trusted in the process. I had patience. There was no need to get hasty and settle for something less, or splurge on something out of my budget because I cannot find the ideal match. As I contemplated this, I realized there are a few current examples of this very thing. Clear intention for a desired outcome, whatever 'work' can be done to be looking for the solution, trust in the process, or let go of it (get out of the way) and voila! Just like magic it happens. The Law of Attraction in action!

My daughter needed new bedding for her dorm room this fall. We have been looking. The size is an odd size - dorm beds always are. She really liked a very expensive bedding, but like me was looking for a more reasonable solution. I was thinking I might just splurge on the perfect bedding for her as a treat, but with so many expenses related to her upcoming move this didn't seem wise or practical. Stay the course. We continued to look for the perfect win - win solution. We looked high and low, whenever we were anywhere the right bedding might be. Low and behold we were at HomeGoods (another wonderful store) when she found the perfect bedding for herself, for under $40 dollars. Once again the reminder that patience pays off. The rewards are great!

My son has been looking for the perfect housing for next year. His housing situation fell through unexpectedly, and he was left to find something new for the coming year. It looked like this was going to be costing us a few hundred dollars more a month. That was not good news. He kept looking. He didn't jump on the first option which came forward, he was patiently waiting and actively searching. As summer was moving along we were all getting a bit nervous. Would he be able to secure housing this late? Would it meet all of his requirements? Would he have to compromise or settle for less? The waiting was intense. He called us this week to say he found the perfect place to live, within his original budget, with all the perks he wanted. Once again, patience in the process. The reminder to set your intention, this is not a good time to be shy, be specific, it is your dream, do the legwork, then trust. Wait for the outcome!

Wherever we are creating something, or inviting something into our lives, whether it is something as simple and frivolous as a new purse, or the financial situation at our home or business, set clear, specific intention or desire. Do the groundwork in a practical reasonable way and then trust in the outcome. As long as we are in the flow, and not trying to swim upstream, against our natural rhythm, this will work every time. The rewards are great, they are just around the corner. All we need to do is trust. It will all work itself out, in good time, the outcome will be a win - win. I just need to look at my purse to be reminded!

What are you trying to attract into your life today? May you have a wonderful week ahead. With warm blessings and love for your journey!

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Saturday, July 2, 2011

You raised a good son, Mom

As we walked in to the small waiting room, all but one chair was taken. I checked in at the front desk while Ry took a seat. The awkward silence of a full waiting room bumped into us as I took the chair recently vacated by the next patient. The woman in the dress with the bright yellow sunflowers broke the mounting silence, "I just havta ask. Do you play basketball?". The question was directed at my son. "I know, everyone must ask you and I'm sorry, I just have to know". The once shy young man smiled as he looked at her and answered, "No, but I used to. I did in high school. I was a bit more clumsy then.". Yellow sunflower Lady gestured to the people on either side of her and exclaimed, "Well so were we!". She went on to recount her high school sporting days, or rather her efforts to avoid them, the dark haired girl to her right chimed in with how much she loved sports, especially soccer, my son smiled and nodded listening to their stories. He was called to the front desk to answer some questions and as he was responding yellow sunflower lady blurted out, "Just how tall are you?". My son turned and smiled at her and answered, "Six foot, six inches". "Six foot, six inches?! Wow!". Yellow sunflower lady smiled at him. He settled into his previous seat just as a pair of women walked in. We made eye contact and he offered his chair to the newest visitors to our club. Yellow sunflower lady crows, "What a nice young man!". He ambled over to me and asked for a cup of water from the water cooler beside me, as he leaned against the wall on my other side. Yellow sunflower lady queried as I got the water, "Is that your son?". I replied in the affirmative smiling at her and looking up at my son, seeing all at once the exuberant little boy, the shy adolescent, and now the handsome and kind young man everyone else is seeing. "Well, you did a good job. I can tell. He's a good man." yellow sunflower lady beams at me. She got called away and the waiting room settled back into it's customary hush. Yellow sunflower lady finished up and walked through the waiting room, cutting the silence as she touched me on the shoulder, "You did a good job. I can tell." she repeated with a smile. "Well thank you, and have a great day," I stammered as I smiled at her and she departed.

My son left this morning at 7:00. He said goodbye to his father before he went off to golf, he woke his sleeping sister to say bye for now, gave the dogs a farewell rub. After a hug from my once little boy, I could feel the tears beginning. He hurried over to his car, standing by the open door, "Why aren't you smiling, Mom? I'm just going on a little vacation, two weeks.". I tried to smile, at his excitement, "I'll miss you! I love you! Have fun! Drive Careful! Be safe!". "I love you too, Mom, and I will. I will." he jumped into his car waving as he backed out of the driveway and pulled away, towards the next adventure.

So why am I crying? I recount his summer plans and realize his girlfriend and her family will be with him about as long as we have had him home this summer. Unlike in other years when he left, his anchor was still here with us, this time it is different. He is in love with a wonderful young woman, they are beginning to make life plans, he is no longer anchored here. He has pulled up that anchor and is setting his own course for bright beautiful adventures as yet unknown. The awareness dawns on me that all the other comings and goings were easier because I knew he was returning to us. He is now moving towards his future and as beautiful as that is, and as cool as that is, my heart weeps, and so do my eyes for a bit.

I remember yellow sunflower lady from the waiting room yesterday and her words echo in my heart. She's right, we sure did. We did a good job. Love you Ry. Have fun. Be safe.

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